Tuesday, October 20, 2009


i ♥ {him}!!! i really do! he is more than i ever dreamed he would be, this boy of mine. he is funny. he is sweet. he is caring. he is thoughtful. he is cuddly. he is intelligent. he is stubborn. he is particular. he is love.
we all have our good traits and our not so good traits. sometimes jack frustrates me when he is stubborn.
i yelled at him today while trying to get him out the door because i was stressed and late.
i feel really bad.
he couldn't decide what toy he wanted to take to school so i yelled at him. i don't want to be that parent.
i am funny. i am sweet. i am caring. i am thoughtful. i am cuddly. i am intelligent. i am stubborn. i am particular. i am love.
he looks exactly like his dad but acts exactly like me. he is an extention of me. i want to nurture and accept him just as he is and learn to creatively channel all those attributes of myself that i see in him. i believe in him. i believe that the frustrating attributes are also positive attributes.
i don't want to yell at him.
i watched him in the rearview mirror while driving him to school(of course there was a detour to starbucks at his request). he looked so little and so innocent. he is little and innocent. he is going to learn how to relate to people through my example. i don't want him to yell. i want him to love.
i want to be a better parent. not a parent that let's him walk all over me. and not a parent that just wants to be her kids best friend. i want to challenge him and teach him and love him and support him. i want to be firm yet still show kindness at the same time. i don't take this responsibility lightly and that is probably why i am so disappointed in myself. i know that i am shaping his future. i want to do my best for him.
he is mine. i ♥ {him}!

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